Facebook Rant

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=350719465036731&set=a.223064071135605.45905.222272341214778&type=1&theater

How funny is it that I start my Facebook Rant Post with a quote I found on Facebook.

Oh goodness! I know it's been a very long time since I used this blog. I have had about three other post I have wanted to make but sometimes you just need to vent. Let me start off my saying how greatful I am that Facebook wasn't all that when I was in college. I don't know when I would have finished all my school work. It was bad enough that I had to ban all non class book and trashy mags during semesters. It's funny to think back to my Fresh year in college. We only got one t.v. channel in our rooms and that was our local PBS station. In college we were forced to leave our rooms if we wanted to watch ER on Thursday nights. Our dorm came up with pranks to keep things happening. We still enjoyed a good hunt on Oregon Trail to keep us entertained. We actually drove all night to meet up with people we had met online.Mount Holyoke MA Anyone? Pop Quiz? How many pounds of meat could you carry back to the wagon? Those were the days of spending nights in the study lounge coloring my leg with a high lighter or me duck tapping a friend to the bed and calling everyone into the room waiting for Fred to wake up. My roomie and I getting locked inside our room. What can I say? We were the non alcoholic dorm so we had to use our brain to keep ourselves entertained. I don't think I would have been half as adventurous if Facebook had been invented.

They say technology is great but I think it depends on how you use it. I have to admit that I can go without t.v, movies for a week but giving up the internet for 6 hours drives me crazy. Hello, My name is Sarah and I'm addicted to the internet. They say admitting it is the first step. Ha! The internet has opened up so many avenues for people. The same reason it's good can also be the reasons its bad. The internet has allowed me to meet many amazing people and families. I have met people that are like me in many ways. The internet can be a wonderful support system if used the right way. When it isn't used the proper way it can cause pain like a weapon does when not used properly. 

I'm sure doctors can tell us they have had patients that look up their condition and come in telling the doctor what they have demanding a prescription. That is just one simple example of the internet not being that helpful. The biggest thing that has been bugging me the most is on Facebook they allow people to write status updates. Tonight I get on Facebook and these are the first two posts that I read. 

Since coming to the hospital a few weeks ago we have been under the impression Shay has been battling post radiation brain swelling from the last round of radiation. She has lost the ability to walk, open her eyes, breathe without help, and now is having a hard time hearing and talking. Today we received the results of Shay's MRI.The tumors in her brain and the one in the brainstem have rapidly progressed. They have taken over and there isn't any medical treatments to stop it now. There isn't anything left to do. We have been moved from ICU and are back on the stem cell unit as that is where we are most comfortable. We are now starting comfort care for our remaining time with her. We are going to make her as comfortable as possible and we will be sure she is in NO pain. I cannot begin to put into words how devastating this all is. I don't think I will ever be able to tell my babygirl goodbye. Whether we have a day or a week left together I am going to make sure she knows that she has been the best 7 years of my life. There are no words to describe my love for her and I hope everyone understands that this will be my last post for the time being. All of my energy is going to be put to being sure Shay is comfortable and making sure her brothers somewhat understand. Thank you everyone for all the support during this horrible time, it truly is appreciated.

I fuckin hope I die soon cause I am sick of the bull...... my life is. I don't fit in anywhere. I am really going to disappear

have a vicious hatred for myself and I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't fit in anywhere so I'll just remove myself. I don't mean I'm killing myself. We ll I suppose that's what'll happen ultimately with this relapse and have come close recently but whatever. I just don't care anymore. I try so hard every day. Nobody understands how hard I try and I am just exhausted. I just feel rejected and unloved and so I hate myself even more. I'm not going to pretend anymore. I am falling apart. I am dying. Practically everything I do on a daily basis is destructive to myself. Th e only reason I wanted to stop bping was just to starve better. So? Sp wjat? You're going to judge me now? Who are YOU to judge me? I'm sick. This is a progressive mental illness and I've had it for 18 years and yes, eventually it does make you truly crazy and irrational and mean and you lose everything you never really had to begin with. I just don't care anymore. I am done.

Wow! You say. I was blown away. The first status makes me feel heart broken. What Shay's family would give for simple problems. How can someone (Yes, I know the second person is in a lot of pain but....)not value life? I so wanted to post the first status on the second person's status. Help put things in perspective. Actually I started this post two weeks ago. Shay is now dead. Very sad. Little children are dying everyday because there is no cure for what they have. It's really hard for me to see trival status updates that parents write about their children annoying them for doing something. When you are upset with a child, perhaps your child facebook is not the appropriate medium for venting. I just wish parents would see how lucky they are to have kidos and be happy that their child is around to annoy them sometimes. Life is very precious and shouldn't be taken for granted.